What I Think in an Argument

by Michael Simmons on Jan 30, 2010

I am afraid of being called out and admitting to ‘it’.

I know I was wrong.

I just can’t admit to it, because I will cry.

I don’t want to cry, because it’s embarrassing and shameful.

Am I just a bad person who can’t do anything right?

So, sure, yes I could have been better, but you could have too. What about when you did abc? What about when you did xyz?

We’re both not perfect, so don’t call me on this. We’re both trying our best.

Unconscious feeling: I want you to feel how I feel. I want you to be at my level, because I will feel better about myself. As soon as I see that I’m getting to you, I will feel better. I will say whatever I need to say directly or passive aggressively until I get that result. I’d rather be right than take 100% responsibility.


If I’m being honest with myself, this is the process I go through internally to the best of my awareness. I’m not proud of it. I don’t know exactly how it became that way, but it is. I take responsibility for it, and I commit to grow.

I appreciate the institution of marriage. A commitment to the right marriage is a commitment to face those feelings we’re able to hide from every single other person in the world.

I am inspired by someone like Will Smith who says he will die before he gets divorced again.

Even though, I resist it in the moment like a mad man, I appreciate being held accountable.

I appreciate being forced to take 100% responsibility, because I certainly wouldn’t otherwise.

No matter how little sleep we have had, how stressed we feel, or how [insert other excuse]; we must take responsibility for our experience.

Every time our hurt shows itself is an opportunity to create a new pattern.

No excuses. One life.


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I'm the co-founder of Empact, one of the leading entrepreneurship education organizations in the world. I'm obsessed with understanding how we all can lead meaningful lives that have a positive social impact. I love probing into the truth of how we experience life. I believe that challenges are what make us grow the most, and I openly share my experiences. Continue reading…