I’m Afraid of Myself Sometimes

I’ve noticed myself regretting some of my posts over the past six weeks.

I expressed opinions, and I fear how those opinions may have made me look.

My instinct in communication is to wait for people to say something and develop rapport by agreeing with some part of what they said. Not having rapport with people makes me uncomfortable. This is why I was quiet for many years growing up…I didn’t want to say something that would make me look bad.

Through my writing on facebook, I am writing to many different types of people, 99% of whom will provide no feedback to what I write. There is no one person I can write to in order to please.

Therefore, my writing becomes a mirror. Whatever I think the diverse silent majority is thinking about me is really what I’m thinking about myself.

I think I am afraid of other people’s judgement, but really, I’m afraid of my own.

I don’t want to be afraid of myself anymore.

I will continue to write.